Waiting

This is the day the Lord has made; we will rejoice and be glad in it.  Psalm 118:24

As I write this, I am five days away from the due date of little boy number two.  With Noah, I didn't mind one bit that he took his time coming out (we "kicked him out" nine days after his due date).  I was really in no rush to make the plunge into motherhood, go through labor, lose all my precious sleep and wait on an infant hand and foot.  I tend to work behind, rather than ahead anyway, so his delayed arrival fit right into my plans.


With this new little one, I'm antsy to meet him.  I'm feeling contractions often (which never happened with Noah), and I can't wait for the moment when they'll become regular enough for Dave and me to head to the hospital.  I am now uncomfortably pregnant: I avoid anything outdoors between the hours of 10:00 and 6:00; I can't get up from a seated position without looking and feeling awkward; I have trouble falling asleep... then I can't seem to stay asleep for more than a few hours at a time; and I've begun to fantasize about wearing real clothes again.


I stopped working over a week ago, all of my pre-baby "chores" are accomplished, my hospital bag is packed, my kitchen is spotless, and now I'm..... just..... waiting.....


"Now what, Lord?" my heart cries out.  


A couple of days ago, he gave me the answer: "This is the day the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it."  So even if the little guy doesn't make his appearance known to the world on this day, I can, and should, still rejoice.  God has a special plan for each of our days, and just because today's does not include the special event I want, doesn't mean that the day is worthless or less significant in God's eyes.


... Still, I hope he comes soon!

A late-night attempt at a baby bump picture

Lord God, please give me the grace to see each day the way you see it.

Watch

He who watches over you will not slumber. Psalm 121:3

Noah's first day in a bassinet

Tonight, I had the privilege of watching Noah while he slept.  He was feeling a little sick earlier in the evening, so my husband requested that I check in on him when I got home from work, which was quite late.  I normally forbid myself from checking in on the little guy while he's sleeping, knowing that most of the time it would be for my sake (not his) and, of course, I would never want to wake a sleeping baby (or toddler, for that matter).  


This evening, I went in quietly, put my hand to his forehead, cheeks and arms, and then sat back.  He didn't feel warm to me, which was great.  And he didn't stir after I touched him--also great.  It provided me with the opportunity to just sit there in the silence, and watch.  I. Loved. It.  What an amazing thing to watch one you love sleep, to dote on them without their knowing, and to see their every twitch as they are oblivious to the world around them.




While I sat there and marveled that he continued to sleep, I was hit with the realization of how much I love that little one, and how much I desire to be a better mom to him than I am.  I felt at once insufficient for the task of motherhood and at the same time comforted by the fact that God willingly and knowingly placed Noah into my life so that I would do just that: be his parent.

Noah's first day in a toddler bed

Then I thought about God, and how he is ever watchful over us, even while we sleep.  What an image, to think that he watches like a doting parent, fascinated by every twitch, overwhelmed by the love he has for his child!  I could not help but silently say the praises of him who has a heart for us, that he would care for us even as we sleep.