Refuge

God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. 

Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging.

Psalm 46:1-3

The first thing that I wanted to do when I stepped foot inside my front door tonight was run to Noah's room, hold him and make sure he was alright.  I suppressed that desire, however, since it was one o'clock in the morning, and the little tike probably would not appreciate the gesture as much as I assumed he should.  More importantly, I quickly realized that the hug would have been for my own need for comfort more than it was for his.  

Noah got sick to his stomach for the first time tonight-- at our baby-sitter's home.  I got the news while I was on a break at work and it practically made me sick.  I had to stop eating my dinner.  Poor guy!  He must be so confused.  He must be feeling horrible.  I NEED to help him!  But I wasn't there.  I was at work, and drudging through a pretty crummy shift at that.  It made me feel awful.  Stuck.  Incompetent.  Frustrated.  Thankfully his baby-sitter was there, a wonderful woman whom God has placed in Noah's life and heart.  But I still felt horrible. My heart yearned.  I wanted to comfort him, and I wanted his little goofy grin to strengthen me and tell me that everything would be alright.

As I think about the Lord, I am hit hard with the realization that our refuge, strength, and comfort should come from none other than Him.  He has blessed us with our earthly relationships to give us glimpses of what he can offer us, but if that's all we ever experience, we miss something wonderful.  His refuge and strength never fail, never meet a challenge they can't overcome, never disappoint, never waver, and never sleep.  They are free for the taking if we will only allow our hearts to be swept up into love with him.

Music

"Shout for joy to the Lord, all the earth, burst into jubilant song with music." 

Psalm 98:4

Noah is captivated by music.  It seems as though it has been that way since day one.  When he first began to gain control of his limbs, it was in church during praise songs that he would choose to flail most exuberantly.  When he first began to say "words," it seemed to be in a sing-song voice.  "Music" is one of the signs that he chooses to use most frequently (behind "eat," "milk," and "more," of course), and it's closely followed these days by "drum" and "guitar."


Dave and I have the privilege of hosting my nephew, Ben, at our house while he's doing a month-long internship with our church's worship band.  Our home is now graced daily with the soothing plucks and upbeat strums of the strings from Ben's guitar.  (A teenager who's graduated from high school and removed from his buddies has lots of time in the day to practice the guitar...)


I'm pretty sure that Noah adores Ben.  Ben's a great person in his own right, but the fact that he makes music puts him pretty near deity in Noah's world.  The little guy is constantly making his way into Ben's room, trying to get a touch of the wonderful instrument that makes such great music.  And Ben's a pretty good sport about letting Noah have a few strums every once in a while, although he quickly learned how to close the door of the guest room.


I thank God for the desire for music that he has put in each one of our souls.  I don't know a single person who is not drawn to music, be it classical or screamo.  Most of my days are engulfed by music, be it the background noise at the coffee shop, the sound my coworkers singing or the Pandora app on my iPod, and I imagine most people share my experience.  


Since God created us in His image, does he like to listen to music as well?  I imagine that it brings him joy to hear "all the earth burst into jubilant song."  I'm so glad he passed that on to us.

"New" Love

This past June marked the fifth year that Dave and I have been married, and we'll have been dating for nine years, coming this January.  I am so amazed that God has blessed me with a husband who can still make me laugh to tears, like we did last night.

Our first year of marriage, we started a tradition of going out for pizza once a month.  He was still in school and we were living off of my less-than-desirable Starbucks paychecks.  Pizza night was our one evening to spend out on the town. We had a few rules: it had to be pizza, we were free to talk openly about our lives and our relationship, we didn't have to worry about how much money we were spending, and we would stuff ourselves silly (the last being more of an unwritten understanding).  Spanning three different metropolises (St. Louis wins the competition for best) and five years, our dates still have the same rules and I still look forward to them with excitement.


Two weeks ago, we decided to begin a new tradition: waffle night.  It's such a great excuse to schedule in one more date night a month!  Unlike my husband, who could probably eat the same thing every week for years on end, I am a "waffler," as he likes to call it.  I like a lot of different things, and when it comes to decide on one thing, I usually "waffle" back and forth until the critical moment when I must decide.  Sometimes, even then, I change my mind and we have to turn around.  Waffle Night is a chance for us to shake things up a bit and try a new restaurant or a different type of food (and I get to choose!).

We had to have our inaugural waffle night at a place where we could get waffles, of course.  So, we had dinner together (sans baby, of course) at the Brentwood Cafe, a diner that seems like it's been around forever, has no aesthetic appeal whatsoever, but has the best service around.  Lucky for us, they serve breakfast all day.  We had a lot of fun together that evening.  After our supper of waffles, we ordered some mozzarella sticks to go (something neither of us had done since high school), stopped in at a gas station to get slurpee's (something neither of us had done for probably almost as long), and then headed to the neighborhood park to play bocce ball together (something we frequently do together).

It felt like the perfect beginning to something very beautiful.

Summer

Today marks the first official day of the busy-ness of summer for the Prill household.  Dave's sister, Jana, and her three kids are visiting for four days.  She has two older boys, ages five and three, and her youngest, "Little Mac," is three months younger than Noah (to the day).  The last time they were together was Christmas, so it will be fun to see them "running around" together, if you could call it that.  I'm curious how Noah will react to other children living in the house.  My gut tells me that he'll love all the activity, and if he had a voice, he would be asking for a brother or sister in a heartbeat. 


I love the sunshine and the long days that summer brings.  I love eating a dinner of grilled chicken out on the back porch with my husband (albeit on the folding card table and chairs). I love the excitement of trips and family gatherings.  I love looking forward to morning runs in the cool air.  I love it.  Thank you, Lord, for summer!

Mobile

Where can I go from your Spirit? 

   Where can I flee from your presence? 

If I go up to the heavens, you are there; 

   if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. 

If I rise on the wings of the dawn, 

   if I settle on the far side of the sea, 

even there your hand will guide me, 

   your right hand will hold me fast.   

Psalm 139:7-10

We installed our first wireless router tonight.  I know what some of you are thinking, "How in the world have they lasted so long without one?"  Let me be the first to tell you that it can be done, but I'm pretty happy that it will no longer be done in the Prill house.  Wireless internet gives me a new sense of freedom.  (I can check my email while lying down on the couch!)  In fact, it makes the internet itself seem completely novel and exciting.


Noah is going to be a year old in a little over a week.  Talk about wireless.  That kid is completely mobile, and it has indeed opened up a new world to him.  He realizes that he holds the power to get to any place he wants to go.  This is a lot of fun when he's chasing the cat or looking for Dave or me.  The fun ends, however, when barriers get in his way: closed doors to the outside, for instance, can be particularly damaging to his mobile ego.


We were in a large home improvement store today, and Noah loved being out of the cart and on his feet.  His eyes were on one new thing after another, leading him farther and farther away from where Dave and I were.  I followed him to see how far he would go, and finally picked him up when he had wandered all the way down the Lighting isle and over past Tile, past Flooring to Wallpaper.  I have the sneaky suspicion that he's going to be "that kid" that gets lost in the mall someday. 


I wonder how the world looks to him.  If one simple wireless router can make me excited, he must be on overdrive to discover everything new about mobility (see scraped forehead for proof).  Does he ever feel lost or overwhelmed by the possibilities?  Does he consider danger or consequence?


He definitely trusts that someone who loves him is always close by to come to his rescue if needed.  And he has every reason to believe that.  Don't we also have every reason to believe that we can never be out of reach of our loving Daddy?  Perhaps it's time we all do a little more exploring.

Delightful

This little guy is such a delight to have around the house!  He lights up my life with his smirks, smiles and laughter.  His eyes glow with excitement over anything he hasn't seen before.  He is taking in his world, one moment at a time.  It is the coolest thing to watch him discover something new, to teach him about his surroundings, and to join him in his love of life.

Cling

Psalm 63:1-8

You, God, are my God, 

   earnestly I seek you; 

I thirst for you, 

my whole being longs for you, 

in a dry and parched land 

where there is no water.

I have seen you in the sanctuary 

and beheld your power and your glory. 

Because your love is better than life, 

my lips will glorify you. 

I will praise you as long as I live, 

and in your name I will lift up my hands.

I will be fully satisfied as with the richest of foods;

with singing lips my mouth will praise you.

On my bed I remember you;

I think of you through the watches of the night.

Because you are my help, 

I sing in the shadow of your wings. 

I cling to you; 

your right hand upholds me.

Today, Noah was clinging to me.  I think the record for the longest period when he was content on his own, or with my husband, was about twenty minutes.  If he was within arm's reach, he was grabbing a hold of my jeans to pull himself a little closer to me.  If he was not in the same room as me, he was whining about it.  His attachment was endearing and a little flattering, but, as is said, "everything in moderation."  I was to the point of getting sick of his demands of my time and attention.

I think we would be hard-pressed to make God sick of our attachment to him.  How he desires for us to cling to him for every move, to desire his presence more than any other!  We would be blessed to cling to the Lord as David did, to depend upon the strength of the Lord to help us with each step.

I deeply love my son, which makes me glad that he finds me a trustworthy source of comfort.  I desire to be like Noah in his attachment, and like God in his response.