Rest

“Remember the Sabbath day by keeping it holy. Six days you shall labor and do all your work, but the seventh day is a sabbath to the Lord your God. On it you shall not do any work, neither you, nor your son or daughter, nor your male or female servant, nor your animals, nor any foreigner residing in your towns. For in six days the Lord made the heavens and the earth, the sea, and all that is in them, but he rested on the seventh day. Therefore the Lord blessed the Sabbath day and made it holy." Exodus 20:8-11

A day without work. A holy, Sabbath day.

Noah likes to watch Curious George (the half hour variety on PBS) EVERY day. it is often the very first thing he asks about in the mornings, "Is Curious George on yet?" Heard by a person like me, who can think of so many better ways to spend time than to watch TV, it usually makes me cringe. I know that routines are important for a three-year-old, but I also don't want him to build his day around making sure he can watch "the monkey." So, I began to establish a "rest from Curious George" on Sundays. It's not on TV, so that helps, but he also knows by now that we won't even pull it up on YouTube, which we routinely do for him on Saturdays. I hope that he is beginning to understand that Sundays are set apart. Different. Special.

And, as is the case most times that I try to teach someone else something, I have begun to learn a little myself about making Sundays set apart, different, and special.

When I was working outside the home, it felt pretty easy to "remember the Sabbath day."  I told my boss that I wasn't available to work on Sundays, and that was that.  The only challenge I ever received was the occasional guilt trip from my boss that she really wanted me to be available on Sundays. Easy.

Now that I have shifted to working as a stay-at-home mom, "remembering the Sabbath" has become a new challenge.  My primary job is that of raising little boys. Can you just imagine? Reading a book, changing a diaper, helping with play-doh, feeding hungry bellies... "Sorry, sweetie, but Mommy doesn't work on Sundays. Do you want to schedule that for tomorrow?"  NOT easy [or possible].

However, God has been challenging my motives for the things that I do on Sundays. Without the excuse of my outside work to cling to, he has opened my eyes to all the ways that I "work" on a day that is supposed to be devoted to him. I used to always do my grocery shopping on Sundays (it seemed to fit best into my schedule then). I used to get a jump start on the week's laundry on Sundays (there's always plenty of laundry around this house...and the washing machine does most of the work, right?)

So I don't do my grocery shopping on Sundays any more. Laundry also came off of the options of things to do on Sundays. I've also been working [hard] on staying off-line (no browsing or Facebooking or news article reading). I'm also trying to minimize the other chores I do around the house, from food prep to yard work.

To be honest, it is hard to give up those things. It seems like if I could just do a little bit, then I won't feel so behind on Monday. And I honestly struggle a bit during nap time, wondering, "What can I do now?" 

And then I remind myself that God will indeed be faithful to show me what to do, or rather, what he is doing. 

Yes, my soul, find rest in God;

my hope comes from him.

Psalm 65:5

Journeying

This morning, I left my house at 6:05. After much driving, walking, siting, riding, walking, shuffling, standing and sitting, I found my way back to my house by 9:51. Only this time, my feet are not on the ground. I am at the same spot on earth, but my perspective has drastically changed.

It was a little disturbing to think about all the traveling that I had already done this morning: a twenty minute car ride, a ninty minute train ride, a ten minute shuttle ride, and twenty minutes of a plane flight. All of that just to get me right back to where I began--it seems foolish and a little wasteful.

For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts. Isaiah 55:9

But, it was necessary, of course. I do not have an airplane in my driveway, nor would my cul-de-sac work well as a runway. For me to be on the path I currently am on (to visit my best friend who lives on the other side of the country), I needed to take those seemingly wasteful steps. That was a necessary part of my journey.

As I go about my work of raising little royalty, some days feel like wasteful steps. I wish that I could go straight from point A to point B, without traveling through point C (and D and E and F...) first. Some days, I wish I could help Noah move from cutesy Bible story pictures to real faith in his Savior, without first going through years of life experiences. Some days, I wish I could move Zeke's use of his strength from harmful to helpful, without first needing to coach him on how to control that strength often throughout each day.

It helps me to remember that each little step that I take with those boys is not wasted. Those little steps that seem backward at times, in time, will enable them to achieve a perspective that would not have been possible otherwise. This "growing up" is a necessary part of their journey.

 Theirs is a journey in which Dave and I have the privilege of participation.

So no matter how many times I have to say, "Were you talking to God or just loudly saying words?" or "Hands are not for hitting," it is critical for my attitude that I remember the journey that these boys are on. Even more critical is that I never fail to point them in the direction of their ultimate destination.

Show me your ways, Lord, teach me your paths. Guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior. Psalm 25:4-5

Imperfect

When my firstborn son was born, he was perfect. The eyes, the little nose, the chin, the peach fuzz all over. I was enamored (and so thankful) for all of the perfect little intricate parts.

About two weeks later, a birthmark showed up on his left cheek.  And I felt like God put that birthmark there for me, as if to say, "This child is not perfect."

That was an important day for me, the day that I realized my son was not perfect.  He was handsome and precious and cute and wonderful, but not flawless.  My mind knew this, of course, but my heart was still holding on to the hope that my child, this child, would be perfect.

And God continues to show me how imperfect this child is: like the tantrum he threw immediately following our mom-and-son breakfast date this morning, or the nasty behavior last Thursday that made my blood boil.  

And I am so thankful for these imperfections.

For if he was perfect, I would become proud.  If he was perfect, I would begin to think more highly of him than I ought.  If he was perfect, I would lose compassion for other moms.  If he was perfect, I would not pray so often.

So I am thankful for the imperfections, because they help to teach me to focus on the One who is perfect and who promises to share perfection with us in eternity.

At the same time, they open the door for me to teach my little imperfect one that he is loved perfectly by his Father.

He is the Rock, his works are perfect,

and all his ways are just.

A faithful God who does no wrong,

upright and just is he.

Deuteronomy 32:4

Dream

My love and I like to go on dates where we drink coffee together. We also like to read together. It was on one of those recent evenings when we were reading while drinking coffee that we were encouraged by a devotion to "Dream Venti."  VENTI, as in BIG.

For starters, I am not a very good dreamer. When it came to trying to chose a career path, for example, I wanted someone else to just tell me what to do.  I was not the grad school student who dreamed of world peace or large-scale change.  I never grew up dreaming about the perfect wedding or planning my future children's names.  Perhaps I am too much of a pragmatist to give much weight to something that seems so flimsy.

And on days like today, dreaming seems way out of the question.  It took all of the energy I had this morning to just keep my sanity! Dreaming of something for the future that's out of my reach doesn't have much of a say when I feel as though I am surrounded by loud and demanding little boys. 

Perhaps that is why God has been slamming me with messages all week about dreaming big, like these:

"True dependence is not simply asking Me to bless what you have decided to do. It is coming to Me with an open mmd and heart, inviting Me to plant My desires within you. I may infuse within you a dream that seems far beyond your reach." Jesus Calling, Jan 5

"Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations" Ephesians 3:20-21

It's on days like today that I definitely need to be reminded that God has a plan, a dream for me that is far greater than getting a squirmy toddler to sit long enough so I can strap him into his carseat. He sees things much more important than the glass of apple juice that spilled on the floor.  I can easily get overwhelmed by these small things.  

I'd rather see my days, weeks and years through God's eyes than my own. I want to pursue those things that bring meaning to the BIG dream that's in my future. Today, I want to do what He's up to, not the meager things that I have planned for the next six hours.  I want to learn how to DREAM BIG, and how to follow those dreams.

I want to teach those loud and demanding little boys how to follow their Father. I want to foster the BIG dreams that God has already and will place in their hearts. I want to listen and follow more, and plan and obsess less. I want us to be a family that's willing to shed off the past, the comfy routines, and the obligatory engagements in order to pursue something really BIG.

"For we live by faith, not by sight." 2 Corinthians 5:7

Humble

Then I looked and heard the voice of many angels, numbering thousands upon thousands, and ten thousand times ten thousand. They encircled the throne and the living creatures and the elders. In a loud voice they were saying:“Worthy is the Lamb, who was slain, to receive power and wealth and wisdom and strength and honor and glory and praise!” Then I heard every creature in heaven and on earth and under the earth and on the sea, and all that is in them, saying: “To him who sits on the throne and to the Lamb be praise and honor and glory and power, for ever and ever!”

Revelation 5:11-13   

While they were there, the time came for the baby to be born, and she gave birth to her firstborn, a son. She wrapped him in cloths and placed him in a manger, because there was no room for them in the inn.          

Luke 2:6-7

Over the last three months, I have had the opportunity to dive into the book of Revelation in the Bible, and hear how it describes the majesty, authority, and "otherness" of Jesus. Some of the language is beautiful.  Some of it is frightening.  All of it is powerfully overwhelming.

Last week, God opened my eyes to the sheer ludicrousness of his plan: that the prince of heaven, who is worshipped and adored by countless angels and all creation (as in, literally, everything), would desire to put all that aside to come to live as one of us.  The juxtaposition of an almighty conquerer to a crying newborn in a barn is just silly.   Incomprehensible.  Humble.

And then I ran across these verses as I was doing devotions:

He has shown you, O man, what is good.  And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God. -Micah 6:8

Though the Lord is great, he cares for the humble. -Psalm 138:6

But I will leave within you the meek and humble, who trust in the name of the Lord. -Zephaniah 3:12

Humble.

I feel as though I am humbled almost daily in my job as a wife and mom.  I lose my patience with Noah. I am selfish with Dave. I let the hours pass without using them to the fullest with Zeke. I realize my inadequacies.  I get jealous, judgmental, complacent, comfortable. And when I look at what God expects of me, I am ashamed, and humbled.

And then, he lifts my chin, and shows me the never-ending, always pursuing love he has for me. And I am no longer ashamed.  


I am humbled.  And that is just where he desires I be.

But you, Bethlehem Ephrathah, though you are small among the clans of Judah, out of you will come for me one who will be ruler over ideal, whose origins are from of old, from ancient times. 

Micah 5:2

Given

But to all who believed him and accepted him, he gave the right to become children of God. John 1:12 

This Advent, my heart has been working through different strategies to keep the focus in our house on the main gift, Jesus. Noah understands the concept of getting a gift more this year than in past years, and he is very excited now about all things Christmas. One of the first things he mentioned to me this morning, as the sun was still creeping toward the horizon, was that in a few days it would be Christmas, and that meant that he could eat a candy cane! 

Christmas 2012

Regularly, Dave and I try to remind the boys to stay focused on the real reason for celebrating Christmas by asking the question, "Is Christmas all about.... (candy canes)?" Sometimes Noah answers yes, sometimes no. But we always come back to the question, telling him again and again that the answer is Jesus. 

The one who is the true light, who gives light to everyone, was coming into the world. He came into the very world he created, but the world didn’t recognize him. He came to his own people, and even they rejected him. John 1:9-11

Sometimes, it's easy for us to reject Jesus, even Christians, even in the midst of this season. 

If I had no Christmas tree lighting up the dark evenings in my house, if there were no presents to give and to receive, if there were no stockings to hang, no special songs, no family gatherings, no cookies or candy canes or peppermint hot chocolate, no candlelit services, would I still celebrate the birth of The Lord of the universe, coming to earth to give his life as a ransom? I pray that I would.

I pray that I go about celebrating Christmas in the midst of all this abundance with a spirit that would lead my boys to know that the greatest gift that comes on Christmas is the right given to them to be children of God.

My Story

Taking her by the hand he said to her, "Talitha cumin," which means, "Little girl, I say to you, arise." Mark 5:41

And [Jesus] said to him, "Go home to your friends and tell them how much the Lord has done for you, and how he has had mercy on you." Mark 5:19



During the Thanksgiving worship service at my church this year, we were encouraged to think about "our story," the story of God at work in our life.  And we were challenged to share it.

Here's mine:

God has taken my proud and arrogant head and crushed it.  

He has shown me my weaknesses. 

He has brought to light my faults.

He has led me away from the path I prepared for myself…

Only to take me to His path, the one he had prepared for me from days of old.

He showed me my faults only to show me a way to mend them.

He brought forth my weaknesses so that I could understand the depths of his strength.

He crushed my head, so that He could have its place.

And for all of this, I am forever thankful.