Friday, October 29, 2010


For He is the living God,
and he endures forever; 
 his kingdom will not be destroyed,
his dominion will never end.
He rescues and he saves;
he performs signs and wonders 
in the heavens and on the earth.
Daniel 6:26-27

Tonight is the last night that we will be sleeping in the run-of-the-mill one bedroom apartment that has served as our home for the last 16 months.  We are quite cramped in our 460 square feet, our bedroom doubling as a nursery and the living room doubling as storage space, so in one sense, I can't wait to move to a larger house.  However, there is a large part of me, unexpectedly, that is grieving the loss of this place.  This is our home: the first place where Dave and I have been "all grown up" (out of school); the first place where we've ever had a pet; the only place Noah has known.  We are comfortable here: we are used to overhearing our neighbors fight, we know the walking trails, we can easily get from here to there (wherever there might be).

I think about all the unknowns of our new home.  I wonder if we'll be happy we moved there or if we'll end up disappointed.  Part of me wants to stay in the apartment, because it's safe.  Perhaps I'm hesitant to move because it's just one more change to add to the tally list this year, and right now I'm yearning for stability.

As I was reading through the book of Daniel this week, I was struck with the power of the Everlasting Lord.  He never changes, and has been in control of history since the very first day.  He was alive to keep Daniel safe from the lions' mouths.  He was alive on the Sunday after his death to bring comfort and peace to his friends.  He is living today, giving me the strength and courage I need to make another change.  I pray that his peace would never leave its home in me.

Sunday, October 10, 2010

Receiving Help

I like to think of myself as a pretty capable person, and, like a lot of people, I like to prove that I can do things on my own.  Perhaps that comes from being the only sister among a handful of brothers.  Perhaps it's part of the culture we live in.

Earlier this week, I was walking from the parking lot to my apartment with Noah in a carrier and at least 10 bags of groceries loaded on my arms.  A neighborhood boy saw me walking past and said, "Do you need any help?" to which I kindly replied, "No, I'm ok. Thank you."  to which he quickly retorted, "Oh, 'cause it kind of looks like you're struggling there."  Apparently he could see my need better than I could!

As I type this out, I am wondering about all the times that God sees our needs better than we do.  How often does he hold out his hand to offer the assistance we need, only to be told, "No, thanks. I'm ok"?

My husband and I definitely have our hands fully these days.  We are currently trying to pack up our little apartment in the hopes of moving into our first home.   The process of "closing" on the house has been more of a headache than either of us had anticipated, which has left us in a generally disgruntled mood.  We were hoping to move two weeks ago.  Now we're beginning to think that we'll be lucky if it happens at all. This will be the fourth time that we've moved, but the first time that we've attempted to do it with a five-month-old around.

It's at this point when I think that God sees our need better than we do.  We think we're doing pretty good: half of the house is packed, we reassure ourselves that all the paperwork will come together in good time, we don't mind too much that we're eating off of a folding table or that we haven't been able to find things we need.  

Today I marvel at the fact that God has seen our needs and has offered his help.  How can I be confident of that?  On Sunday, a friend of ours stopped by with some homemade minestrone for us and treated Dave to conversation over a beer.  This week, my schedule at work was considerably lighter (which I consider a blessing).  Wednesday, my generous friend came over for a few hours to watch Noah while I packed.  What a difference these small instances made in my attitude over the past week.

Thank you, God, for putting people in our lives to help us when we need it, especially when we don't think we do.  Help me live with my hands open, willingly giving (and receiving) help.