Monday, January 20, 2014


When my firstborn son was born, he was perfect. The eyes, the little nose, the chin, the peach fuzz all over. I was enamored (and so thankful) for all of the perfect little intricate parts.

About two weeks later, a birthmark showed up on his left cheek.  And I felt like God put that birthmark there for me, as if to say, "This child is not perfect."

That was an important day for me, the day that I realized my son was not perfect.  He was handsome and precious and cute and wonderful, but not flawless.  My mind knew this, of course, but my heart was still holding on to the hope that my child, this child, would be perfect.

And God continues to show me how imperfect this child is: like the tantrum he threw immediately following our mom-and-son breakfast date this morning, or the nasty behavior last Thursday that made my blood boil.  

And I am so thankful for these imperfections.

For if he was perfect, I would become proud.  If he was perfect, I would begin to think more highly of him than I ought.  If he was perfect, I would lose compassion for other moms.  If he was perfect, I would not pray so often.

So I am thankful for the imperfections, because they help to teach me to focus on the One who is perfect and who promises to share perfection with us in eternity.

At the same time, they open the door for me to teach my little imperfect one that he is loved perfectly by his Father.

He is the Rock, his works are perfect,
and all his ways are just.
A faithful God who does no wrong,
upright and just is he.
Deuteronomy 32:4

Wednesday, January 8, 2014


My love and I like to go on dates where we drink coffee together. We also like to read together. It was on one of those recent evenings when we were reading while drinking coffee that we were encouraged by a devotion to "Dream Venti."  VENTI, as in BIG.

For starters, I am not a very good dreamer. When it came to trying to chose a career path, for example, I wanted someone else to just tell me what to do.  I was not the grad school student who dreamed of world peace or large-scale change.  I never grew up dreaming about the perfect wedding or planning my future children's names.  Perhaps I am too much of a pragmatist to give much weight to something that seems so flimsy.

And on days like today, dreaming seems way out of the question.  It took all of the energy I had this morning to just keep my sanity! Dreaming of something for the future that's out of my reach doesn't have much of a say when I feel as though I am surrounded by loud and demanding little boys. 

Perhaps that is why God has been slamming me with messages all week about dreaming big, like these:

"True dependence is not simply asking Me to bless what you have decided to do. It is coming to Me with an open mmd and heart, inviting Me to plant My desires within you. I may infuse within you a dream that seems far beyond your reach." Jesus Calling, Jan 5

"Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations" Ephesians 3:20-21

It's on days like today that I definitely need to be reminded that God has a plan, a dream for me that is far greater than getting a squirmy toddler to sit long enough so I can strap him into his carseat. He sees things much more important than the glass of apple juice that spilled on the floor.  I can easily get overwhelmed by these small things.  

I'd rather see my days, weeks and years through God's eyes than my own. I want to pursue those things that bring meaning to the BIG dream that's in my future. Today, I want to do what He's up to, not the meager things that I have planned for the next six hours.  I want to learn how to DREAM BIG, and how to follow those dreams.

I want to teach those loud and demanding little boys how to follow their Father. I want to foster the BIG dreams that God has already and will place in their hearts. I want to listen and follow more, and plan and obsess less. I want us to be a family that's willing to shed off the past, the comfy routines, and the obligatory engagements in order to pursue something really BIG.

"For we live by faith, not by sight." 2 Corinthians 5:7