Saturday, September 19, 2015

My Bubble (the good and bad)

I have a confession: I live in a “mom bubble.”
My days consist of spending much of my time in my home.  When I’m not at home, I’m in my community running errands, at the schools where my boys attend, at my church, or in my friends’ homes. My most challenging conversations are with my kids’ friends who don't quite have all of their words and sounds perfected yet. Anyone who knows me will tell you I don’t watch much TV; anytime I do happen to catch the news, I don’t enjoy it. And if you looked at the apps on my phone, you would find Pinterest but not CNN. I read our community newspaper about once every three weeks, and I generally keep tabs on the world through my friends’ Facebook posts.
I’m not proud of this part of me, but it is definitely my M.O.
Usually, I find my bubble useful. I’m able to focus on the tasks in front of me—really investing in the lives that I have an ability to affect. I don’t stay up at night worrying about the stock market or national safety. I don’t waste hours keeping tabs on when the latest celeb will have her next baby. I find it’s easier to keep thoughts of God running through my brain rather than the spoutings of talking heads. My bubble helps me filter the voices that speak to my heart.
But, of course, my bubble has its down sides. I can’t generally join in on social conversations about what’s happening in the Middle East or what movies are playing at the theater on Friday. I don’t know what time the debate is scheduled for this week, and I can’t tell you what big legislation is or isn’t passing in the House right now. I don’t know the latest trend in kitchen gadgets or the hot styles for fall.
I wish I could filter what is good for my soul while letting in what is important for my head. 
While my current bubble is not perfect, I became thankful for one of its by-products this week: I am not over-sensitized.  When big stories make it through to my ears and head, they have a way of making it straight to my heart. 
Because I do not daily hear about tragedy, when I do, it is felt as just that: horrendous, heart-wrenching tragedy. Because I am not consistently exposed to the blackness of evil, when I see it, I can quickly identify it and hate it. When I hear about wars and torture and merciless men and hurting children and separated families and people fleeing their homes for their lives, my response is shock and compassion and hurt. I am all at once angry at the devil, worried about the future, thankful for blessings in my life, and awed by the individuals who live through such horrific trials. And my swelling heart cries out, “Come quickly, Lord Jesus!”

I don’t know the best way to Raise Little Royalty in light of the sin in our world. I don’t know how thick or thin to shape their bubbles. All I know is that it is VITAL for me to introduce them to the One who is in charge of the heavens and the earth. The One who is worthy of these words:
O Lord, I will honor and praise your name, for you are my God.
You do such wonderful things!
    You planned them long ago, and now you have accomplished them.
You turn mighty cities into heaps of ruins.
    Cities with strong walls are turned to rubble.
Beautiful palaces in distant lands disappear and will never be rebuilt.
Therefore, strong nations will declare your glory;
    ruthless nations will fear you.
But you are a tower of refuge to the poor, O Lord, a tower of refuge to the needy in distress.
You are a refuge from the storm and a shelter from the heat.
For the oppressive acts of ruthless people are like a storm beating against a wall, or like the relentless heat of the desert.
But you silence the roar of foreign nations.
    As the shade of a cloud cools relentless heat, so the boastful songs of ruthless people are stilled.

In Jerusalem, the Lord of Heaven’s Armies will spread a wonderful feast for all the people of the world.
It will be a delicious banquet with clear, well-aged wine and choice meat.
There he will remove the cloud of gloom, the shadow of death that hangs over the earth.
He will swallow up death forever!
    The Sovereign Lord will wipe away all tears.
He will remove forever all insults and mockery against his land and people.
    The Lord has spoken!
In that day the people will proclaim,
“This is our God!
    We trusted in him, and he saved us!
This is the Lord, in whom we trusted.
    Let us rejoice in the salvation he brings!”

Isaiah 25:1-9

Saturday, September 12, 2015

Weight

My heart was heavy last night.
I got news of a kid I once knew, my little brother’s high school friend--the one that always had a mischievous smile and a quick joke. The news was this: that thirty-year-old kid was on a motorcycle one minute, and brain dead the next. God bless the off-duty nurse who was there to resuscitate his heart back to beating so that he could be transported to the hospital, so that his family could spend one last day with him.
My heart pictures his mom, and it hurts.

Oh, heart, why is it that no one speaks about this side of motherhood? How is it that our minds can be filled with images of sweet little baby toes and perfect nurseries and designer outfits, but that we can miss this very real side of motherhood? The side that hurts. The side that would give anything for one more day. The side that feels the weight of another’s life on one's own soul, but knows it lacks the strength to carry it. This, heart, is what you have been given wrapped up in your precious little bundle. Yes, there are many joys and laughter, but do not be a fool. There will also be events that will make you want to split in two and spill out all of the hurt that has bundled up inside. Dear heart, be wise. Be thankful. Do not be foolish and believe that right and wrong will always be so clear, or that the good you have now will be good forever. Treasure this moment, heart. Drink in deeply of healthy little ones who are kept safe under the same roof as your own. Treasure the requests for extra lovin’s, be thankful for the midnight wake-ups, rejoice in the little squabbles. These are gifts to you. Do not ignore them or think them light. They are preparing you for the weight of what the future might bring. Be wise, dear heart. Love today.

So teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom.
Psalm 90:12