Thursday, August 21, 2014

Falling

Before I could even get him out of his room this morning, Zeke had me caught up in a game of Trust Fall.  You know, when one person stands in front of another and falls backward into the second person's arms: trust fall.  It's not your typical two-year-old game (I blame my husband), but two-year-olds are really good at the one thing needed for the game: trust.  Zeke was relentless about falling back into my arms--even if I wasn't ready and had to scramble to catch the little stinker.  He never tried to step back to catch himself.  He never even looked back to see if I was paying attention.  He just trusted.



Earlier this week, Noah started the Trust Fall game when we were at a friend's house.  Noah showed all the kids how fun it was to fall back and have my husband catch him.  The other little kids quickly lined up to give it a try. One, two, three did it, all giddy with excitement once they had been caught. Then sweet little Addison, who's two-almost-three, bravely lined up for her turn.  When she got into place, she took a long pause, looked around her, paused again.  And then, with all the people in the room as her audience, she fell FORWARDS!! I'm still laughing. (Thankfully, the game was being played on carpet, and she was smart enough to catch herself.)  

Little kids are incredible!  They trust!  First thing in the morning, they trust.  Even when they don't quite understand the rules, they trust.

And God loves it.

Dave and I are currently reading through The Jesus Storybook BIble for our devotions every night with Noah. (I highly, highly recommend this Bible. It is beautiful and beautifully written.) Last night, the story was that of Jesus and the little children. As I was listening to my love read the profound words, I was looking at my little child's face.  And there was a beauty there in that moment--the beauty that God brings to little things. He gave me a glimpse of the way he sees Noah, and it was incredible.  



I thought of the way that trust comes so naturally to children.  And I was reminded of God's desire that we would never lose our child's heart when it comes to trusting him.

I was awed by our God who uses simple things in such amazing ways. He reaches into our complex situations and gives us something beautiful and simple. Like a little girl falling forward because she trusts in the one behind her.  Like a little boy falling over and over because he trusts in the one behind him.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart
    and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways submit to him,
    and he will make your paths straight. 
Proverbs 3:5-6


Sunday, August 17, 2014

Freedom


"Me do it!"

Opening up a wrapper.

"Me do it!!"

Putting on shoes.

"Me do it!!"

Watering the garden.

Little Zeke turned two last week. He is smart, funny, strong, silly, quick, and loving. And he is independent.

"Meeee-eee do it!"

He loves that he is physically capable of so many more things than he was six months ago. So, now, he feels as though he is capable of doing everything



It is such a blessing to be witness to the daily achievements and improvements that a two-year-old makes. It's also my greatest challenge these days.

Sometimes, my thought process goes like this:
You CAN'T open a granola bar wrapper; I'll just do it real quick before you realize you didn't get a chance. ... We could be on time if you would just let me put on your shoes. ... You make such a mess when you stir pancake batter--just let me do it!

I find myself grumpy because of how his independence affects my routine. I find myself impatient because of how his independence affects my schedule. I find myself tired because of how his independence tests my mercy.

Mercy.

How often does God look mercifully on me, while I am busy showing him how I can do things myself?

How often do I have the confidence of a two-year-old when it comes to handling tasks that would be much better accomplished by an all-powerful God?

Mercy.

And yet, because of his incomprehensible great love, he sits back and watches. He gives me freedom to try, and fail, and watch, and learn, and try again. Even when it messes with his plans for my day, he gives me freedom. Even when it tests his patience, he sits back and lets me try to do it by myself. Even when he knows an easier way, he lets me fumble down my own.

Because it is in the trying and doing that there is learning. It is in the experiencing and disappointment that our hearts and minds are open to something greater than ourselves. It is in the failed attempts that there is mercy. 

And it is in the total dependence on him that there is freedom.

Out of my distress, I called to the Lord;
the Lord answered me and set me free. Psalm 118:5