Change

His hands went up against the back screen door, open and vulnerable as his dark brown eyes press inside.

"When do I get to start Kindergarten?"

It's coming. A change is coming to my family.

In my mind, it seems more daunting than adding a third child to the mix. I've done babies. I've never introduced a child to kindergarten.

Kindergarten? How do we do that as a family? How do we enter into a new stage where we have to have a kid up and out of the house by 8:00, five days a week? I know all the working parents out there are laughing at me; families do this all the time. But our family does not. We have not, up to this point. In our house, Mondays are set aside for family days--running errands together, going on breakfast dates, trips to the zoo. We leave Fridays open for playing around the house, meeting up with friends, and working in the backyard. Five mandatory school days. What happens to our "family Mondays?" Will we miss our laid-back Fridays? How will we as a family handle this coming transition to kindergarten?

"We're going to have to have more play dates with Ty and Emily because I'm going to miss going to school with them."

Yes. And his best friends. The ones he has known and played with since he was 6 months old. Will our Saturdays turn into a chaotic mess of trying to get as much family and friend time squeezed in as possible? Will these sweet little companions be able to keep their friendship despite their different schools? Does a five-year-old boy know how to grieve a loss of relationship?

"Yes, buddy," I say. "We'll make sure we do play dates."  He leaves his spot at the door to go play with his trucks.

Why is this step so difficult for me to come to grips with as a mom? I'm not certain, but I have some ideas. It's because I want to do it right--and it's hard for me to do things right the first time through. It's because I don't know any of the teachers or staff at his new school--and it's hard for me to trust people I haven't met. It's because it signifies an end to the precious "baby" days spent together--and it means my role as his teacher is shifting. It's because it means the presence of a secular influence in our family system--and it's hard not to fear what that could bring.

"Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done." Phillipians 4:6 (NLT)

So, I begin to pray. For the confidence to enroll my little boy in the school to which God is leading us. For the courage to walk with my eyes fixed on Him instead of on unfamiliar or uncomfortable surroundings. For the wisdom to guide Noah to lean on his Good Shepherd when best friends are no where to be found. For the determination to take each day as it comes, leaving the worries of tomorrow in the hands that have crafted tomorrow. For the peace to know that the one who created time will provide all that is necessary to build relationships within our family and with our friends. For the ability to thank Him for all that he has done and is doing, in all circumstances.

"Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus." Phillipians 4:7 (NLT)

Photo credit and special thanks to Mike Partain, for this week's pictures